Dating and Relationship Advice

Skip the small talk and get to the real talk

Skip the small talk and get to the real talk

Let me paint a picture and you tell me if it sounds familiar. It’s the first date, you are sitting with your date, who you found on an Armenian dating app, you’ve talked about the traffic, made your order, commented on the weather, discussed the latest news on Armenia but at some point, the small talk gets redundant. Now, if you were messaging, you could send a song or a funny meme from Lavash life but even then the conversation can hit a dead end. 

So, the million-dollar question is how to skip the small talk and get to the real talk. Let me tell you something – Armenian singles have a real advantage in this, there is a whole shared culture and heritage that you can talk about. So, without further ado, let’s understand how you can cut the awkward pauses and silences, and have a real conversation with your date. 

Find the golden middle between being prepared and spontaneous 

Listen up Armenian singles, dates are similar to job interviews in one very important way – you need to go prepared but also be ready and spontaneous to answer questions you hadn’t prepared for. There is nothing wrong with putting some thought into what you want to talk about with your date. Armenian dating apps do have a bio section, where you can learn about your date, so to skip the small talk while chatting (both online and offline), ask them questions based on their bios. To avoid small talk in person, refer and build on your previous online chats.  

Now onto the second part of the equation – spontaneity. This one is more apparent in person although it can be spotted offline too. Don’t memorize “top 10 questions to ask on the first date” and ask them one after another. It’s important to converse – ask follow up questions or offer comments.   

Get into specifics

Do you know what’s the biggest difference between small talk and real talk? It’s details, my friend. To skip the small talk, you need to get into specifics both in asking questions and in answering them. For instance, when your date asks you “what do you do for a living?” don’t simply give the name of your position and the organization you work for – share more. Talk about a project you are currently working on or some of the responsibilities you have. This is not, of course, to say go on for 30 minutes on what you do for a living. Be specific but don’t dominate the conversation. 

Aim for stories not answers 

Another way to get into real talk and get to know your date is by aiming for stories not answers. A popular example for this is instead of asking “How was your weekend?” ask “What was the best part of your weekend?” Such long-ended questions allow your date to reveal details (see the previous point) and an opportunity for you to ask follow up questions. Stories unravel character and the more you get to know your date, the better, right?

A bonus tip for diasporans: The best story-oriented question among Armenian singles living abroad is their family story. In other words – how did you get here? 

Questions you can ask 

To help you out dearest Armenian singles, below you can find a number of questions that will steer you and your date to the real talk: 

  • Why did you click on my profile? 
  • Why do you use Armenian dating apps? 
  • Where did you grow up? 
  • What’s the most embarrassing thing you can remember that’s happened to you?
  • What’s your favorite place on earth?
  • What’s your favorite part about being Armenian?
  • What’s your guilty pleasure? – follow up with a why

You can look through more questions here.

Keep in mind that most of the time, when you ask a question, you end up answering it too because of the common “what about you?” response. So, don’t ask a question you wouldn’t want to answer. 

Moving from small talk to the real talk is not rocket science. With some preparation, curiosity and spontaneity, you can enjoy a nice conversation with your date. 

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